Everytime I eat, I hate myself. I’m always nervous, and scared, and I cry all the time and want to kill myself for no reason. I try to get drunk as often as possible because I’m happy when I’m drunk. And sometimes I feel like I’m not even really here? I was raped, and I tried Salvia a few month ago. Could this be why? I feel like I’m crazy!I Hate Myself
I Hate Myself
Rape is traumatic. Having been a victim of rape could explain your symptoms. Using salvia and the fact that you engage in heavy drinking might also explain your symptoms.
Drinking to intoxication might temporarily diminish your psychological pain but it is a maladaptive coping mechanism. It is a sign that you are struggling to deal with difficult emotions. It is also a sign that you need help.
What should you do? You should receive psychological help as soon as possible. You can begin this process by visiting your primary care physician and asking for a referral to a mental health professional. Once you meet with a mental health professional, report all of your symptoms. The more information that you can provide to the therapist, the better able he or she will be to help you.
I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.