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Foot fetish out of control

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When I was 13, a friend of my mom’s molested me and introduced me into the world of foot fetishism. She used her feet on me while wearing high-heeled mules until I climaxed and it stuck with me. I had it under control until 2 years ago when a friend of mine took me to a strip club and I became a regular there and got to know this one stripper well because she always wore black mules, which are a big, turn on for me. She was comfortable with me enough to ask me if I wanted anything on the side and I said yes so I would pay her $50.00 each time to go through with my fetish. Now it is really getting out of hand because I’m going to her almost everyday and can’t get myself to stop and it is now to the point where I’m barrowing from my next paychecks to go through with it. How can I stop doing this?

Foot fetish out of control

Answered by on -


Thanks for having the courage to ask about dealing with this compulsion. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is considered to be one of the more effective forms of dealing with this condition. Since you already know its origin, dealing with the mechanics of coping with it via CBT is the most efficient route. The find help tab at the top of the page will help you find a therapist with that specialty near you.

But I want to add that the turn-on and excitement may be possible to incorporate into an intimate relationship in a healthy way. What you are doing is trying to break the pattern of a compulsive, consuming behavior, not remove the enhancement and excitement that can be found in sexual intimacy. My hope is you find a way to keep the excitement in a relationship without the compulsion.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Foot fetish out of control

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Foot fetish out of control. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 25, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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