When I was 13, a friend of my mom’s molested me and introduced me into the world of foot fetishism. She used her feet on me while wearing high-heeled mules until I climaxed and it stuck with me. I had it under control until 2 years ago when a friend of mine took me to a strip club and I became a regular there and got to know this one stripper well because she always wore black mules, which are a big, turn on for me. She was comfortable with me enough to ask me if I wanted anything on the side and I said yes so I would pay her $50.00 each time to go through with my fetish. Now it is really getting out of hand because I’m going to her almost everyday and can’t get myself to stop and it is now to the point where I’m barrowing from my next paychecks to go through with it. How can I stop doing this?

A: Thanks for having the courage to ask about dealing with this compulsion. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is considered to be one of the more effective forms of dealing with this condition. Since you already know its origin, dealing with the mechanics of coping with it via CBT is the most efficient route. The find help tab at the top of the page will help you find a therapist with that specialty near you.

But I want to add that the turn-on and excitement may be possible to incorporate into an intimate relationship in a healthy way. What you are doing is trying to break the pattern of a compulsive, consuming behavior, not remove the enhancement and excitement that can be found in sexual intimacy. My hope is you find a way to keep the excitement in a relationship without the compulsion.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral