I had a baby six months ago, after I had been having an affair for a year or so because I just felt like something was missing in my life. I got married early as I came from an abusive home and wanted to get out. My husband is a lovely man and I never want to hurt him I just know though that something is wrong. I cry sometimes for no reason, I feel compelled to do certain things and if I don’t something bad will happen and I also feel like someone is constantly watching me and monitoring my thoughts. I feel as though I’m worthless and have thoughts of suicide. I hate myself and don’t think I have a reason for being here. What is wrong with me?
A: Of course it is hard to know for certain, but there are at least three things that are pressing on you that may be contributing to your depression. First, you have just come through the physical, psychological and hormonal challenges of giving birth. Secondly, you have just had this baby with one man, while being with another. This is also an extremely difficult emotional space to occupy. Finally, your negative thoughts are making it difficult to sort through all these complex feelings.
Given all this, I would reconnect with your gynecologist and talk about it all. Ask for a recommendation for a therapist in the area, and the possibility of medicine to cope with these symptoms. The physician may be able to help you understand what your body is going through, and the therapist will help you sort out what needs to happen in your life. For other recommendations for therapy check out the find help tab at the top of the page.