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My Ex Has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Is There Hope For Us?

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How can I explain to an ex-boyfriend who left state and returned that he needs help for is DID? My current psychologist couldn’t answer this question, but flipped it off as insignificant.  I fell in love in Jan. 2010 with a foreign worker who was here to repair damage in the condo after carpet removal and air scrubbing.  I texted him I was i terested and we had a first date.  He ran out unexpectedly, with no excuse and did not return.  ‘Gone then for 3 months to his “country”, back once, ran out with no reason, gone another month, “for a funeral”; back, ran away, then back after another 3 months saying he was emotionally sick and went back to his home country, and was sorry he didn’t call.  During all this strange interims, I hired a detective, then, found out in July he ran to another state, after saying he had gotten a new apt., broke his leg, came back, called me after I left a message at his work, then went back to the other state, back in two weeks to give no reason for his leavings, except that, “a man leaves because a man leaves.”  My question is:  since I noticed he had DID, and he agreed, and had tried to get help, can I assume the relationship is doomed or is there hope if he gets help, that he could ever be stable, or so men with this affliction just drift through life never really finding happiness?  Thank you for reading.  I would not give him a second thought, except that I did have real feelings for him, not just because of his illness.

My Ex Has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Is There Hope For Us?

Answered by on -

A.

What a tough situation. I think the best approach is to express your concern about his illness and strongly encourage him to get into a psychiatric evaluation to see if he indeed does suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder. If your ex doesn’t want to get help, there is nothing you can do. If he does seek help there may be some improvement in his behavior and his stability through individual psychotherapy. I suggest you ask yourself “Why am I attracted to someone who is so unavailable and unstable?” There may be some deeper issues for you to explore in your own therapy. Thanks so much for writing in.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

My Ex Has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Is There Hope For Us?

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Julie Hanks, LCSW has over 20 years in the mental health field providing outpatient psychotherapy services to children, adolescents, adults, couples and multi-problem families with complex mental health and relationship problems. Find out more at WasatchFamilyTherapy.com. Follow Julie on Twitter & Facebook. Visit Julie's new blog for therapists Private Practice Toolbox

APA Reference
Hanks, J. (2018). My Ex Has Dissociative Identity Disorder. Is There Hope For Us?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/08/05/my-ex-has-dissociative-identity-disorder-is-there-hope-for-us/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 5 Aug 2011)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.