In the last two years your man has become a husband and a father (twice). Things that happened before you married are in the past and are best left there. But the current flurry of texts may have something to do with being freshly in the armed services. The future is uncertain if he is deployed. He may be wanting to make sure he has really “lived” when he might die. Someone needs to help him manage his anxiety and shift his thinking. You and the kids love him and need him. The chances are excellent that he will come back from conflict alive and whole. But whatever happens, his family needs a family man.
What you are going through is painful but not uncommon in military families. I suggest you contact his unit’s chaplain to talk about where to get some couples counseling to help you all deal. The two of you owe it to yourselves and your children to straighten this out.
I wish you well.