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Why The Behavior Change In My Girlfriend?

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I’m not sure how it works but I’m just going to lay everything on the table. Me and my girlfriend is now engaged and since then she has stopped having sex with me telling me she wants to wait for marriage but she has had sex with ten other guys prior to me including one night stands with no problem at all. I agreed to it but she hardly kisses me anymore as well and has twiced called me by her exes name. She also told me to stop calling her during the day and that we musn’t talk much less (we are in a long distance relationship, I drive every weekend to her to spend time with her). It feels as if she doesn’t love me anymore. Any advice would be much appreciated. Kind regards.

Why The Behavior Change In My Girlfriend?

Answered by on -

A.

It is difficult to know why your girlfriend has changed because I have so few details about the relationship. Her behavior is unusual given the fact that you were recently engaged. It might indicate that she has met someone else. In your letter, there is no direct evidence of this but her behavior is not what you would expect at this stage of the relationship. Normally, an engagement would bring two people closer together. Her desire for interaction should have stayed the same or increased, not decreased.

It is important to communicate your concerns to her. You need and deserve a deeper explanation but it requires that you share your feelings and be honest about your concerns. Inform her that you are having difficulty understanding her change in behavior and that you need a more detailed explanation. Tell her that you are feeling unloved. The reasons behind the changes may not be as bad as you might think. Try not to jump to conclusions.

If you and she have difficulty communicating, then see a couples therapist before you are married. Many couples undergo premarital counseling. It is a very wise idea and I would highly recommend it in this situation. You need to be certain that getting married is the right choice. In addition, it is important that couples correct all problems in the relationship before they get married. Marriage will not automatically fix the problems in a relationship. The same problems that exist before marriage will exist after marriage.

If you have additional questions or would like to provide more information that may help me to better understand the relationship, please do not hesitate to write again. Check the “find help” tab at the top of this page to help you locate a couples therapist. I wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

Why The Behavior Change In My Girlfriend?

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). Why The Behavior Change In My Girlfriend?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/07/26/why-the-behavior-change-in-my-girlfriend/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 26 Jul 2011)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.