Anxiety has plagued you since childhood. It continues to be a problem, most likely because it has never been properly treated. You feel as though the problem has become worse over time. It seems as though it has. Avoiding or fleeing anxiety-producing situations reinforces an anxiety problem and will increase future anxiety, in most cases. It temporarily provides relief but in the long run, it makes it worse.
There are very effective treatments that exist for anxiety and panic. Two of the best are (1) cognitive behavioral therapy and (2) exposure and response prevention therapy. Both are very good but they cannot work if you quit therapy prematurely.
The key to overcoming anxiety is to resist the urge to flee a situation when you feel anxious. Your desire to flee a situation is understandable in the face of severe anxiety but it is this very behavior that reinforces the anxiety. Resisting this urge to flee and enduring anxiety are the only true ways to solve this problem.
It is important to understand the nature of anxiety. It can increase to very high levels but it can only reach a maximum. It will eventually peak and then decrease. Part of exposure and prevention response therapy is encouraging the client to endure all of the stages of anxiety, from the most intense periods to its ultimate decrease. Exposure and prevention response therapy would essentially force you to face your fears in a systematic and controlled environment.
Force yourself to attend therapy even if it makes you uncomfortable and anxious. It may be unpleasant but it is a cure. Anxiety does not have to be a crippling or lifelong problem.
My suggestion is to find a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety disorders. Also consider a therapist who specializes in exposure and response prevention therapy. For those who are willing to undergo this type of therapy, the success rates are very high. A Psych Central blogger recently posted about her experience.
Psychotropic medications can help to decrease your anxiety while undergoing therapy. You have tried several medications and they have not worked but that is not an uncommon beginning. You should continue to work with your prescribing physician and continue to search for one, or a combination of several, medications that will provide relief. Remember, relief is not a cure but merely a means to manage symptoms.
Unfortunately, if this problem is left untreated it will very likely worsen. This is often the nature of an untreated anxiety disorder. The find help tab, at the top of this page, can help you locate a therapist in your community. I wish you the best. Please take care.