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Lost My Virginity and Now I’m Sleeping Around and Drinking A Lot

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I have a question. I’m 21 and I was dating this guy and well, I lost my virginity to him and I loved him. I felt like he used me. I was so hurt when we broke up and I then slept with his best friend and then another guy 6 times.  I drink a lot and I have low self esteem please I need some advice. I’m so lost.

Lost My Virginity and Now I’m Sleeping Around and Drinking A Lot

Answered by on -

A.

It is incredibly painful to feel so deeply for your boyfriend that you would share your heart and your body with him only to have the relationship end. I’m so sorry that your boyfriend didn’t value the gift that you gave him, your first full expression of your sexuality.  While it’s incredibly difficult to feel used, there are many healthier options for dealing with your hurt than by doing things that cause more pain for you and others. Drinking and sexually acting out may temporarily make your feel powerful and numb your emotions but won’t lead to a healthy emotional place and will likely create more pain and hurt.

Please turn toward healthy relationships. Who have you gone to in the past for emotional support? Have you reached out to friends and family during this difficult time? If not, please share your pain with people you trust so you can receive comfort and strength.  Also, please consider seeking a therapist to sort through the loss of your relationship, understand the root of your unhealthy behavior, and to develop healthier coping skills. Click here if you need help to find a therapist in your area. You can feel good about yourself again. You can develop healthy love relationships.  Remember, you deserve to be with a man who wants to be with you and who cherishes you, body and soul.

Take good care of yourself!

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Lost My Virginity and Now I’m Sleeping Around and Drinking A Lot

Julie Hanks, LCSW

Julie Hanks, LCSW has over 20 years in the mental health field providing outpatient psychotherapy services to children, adolescents, adults, couples and multi-problem families with complex mental health and relationship problems. Find out more at WasatchFamilyTherapy.com. Follow Julie on Twitter & Facebook. Visit Julie's new blog for therapists Private Practice Toolbox

APA Reference
Hanks, J. (2018). Lost My Virginity and Now I’m Sleeping Around and Drinking A Lot. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/07/09/lost-my-virginity-and-now-im-sleeping-around-and-drinking-a-lot/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.