Yeah. I think you’re a normal guy going through a real hard time. On the one hand, it feels good to be “out” to family who love you for you. On the other hand, you know that the world at large still has a ways to go before sexual orientation is a non-issue. Your emotional state makes complete sense to me. It sounds to me like you need some mentors who can help you figure out how to be truly yourself and live happily with others.
You are lucky to live in a city that has an organization that can offer the support and practical help you need. Contact the Canadian Association for Education and Outreach. Among other services they offer is GayLine at 514-866-5090. From their website: “Our mission is to provide a high quality free and confidential help and information telephone service in English for gender and/or sexual minorities. ” They talk to people about issues like these:
- Coming to terms with your sexual orientation
- Coming out to friends and family
- Dealing with loneliness
- Problems finding lovers and friends
- Contemplating suicide
- Discovering that your child, partner or friend is gay
- Getting information about safer sex and AIDS
- Working out problems in your relationship
- Surviving conjugal violence
- Handling discrimination and violence related to homophobia
You made an important first step in contacting us here at PsychCentral. Please find the strength to make a call.
I wish you well.