You are absolutely making sense. You are also at an age where we all feel kind of like it’s now or never for dealing with longstanding issues. Many people find new energy for trying to deal with life-long painful issues. I applaud your courage in being willing to try to make some changes.
You didn’t mention whether you have ever been in any therapy. I encourage you to give it a try. You report a history of severe sexual abuse. It is no wonder at all to me that you dislike sex, can’t trust a man enough to let yourself orgasm, and, indeed, don’t trust many people at all. As lonely and painful as it has been to remain always emotionally distant, it has been far scarier for you to let yourself get close enough to perhaps be hurt yet again. This is an all too common story. Believe me: You are not alone in your reaction to childhood betrayals and pain.
A therapist who is experienced in working with trauma can help you finally close that chapter in your life so you can open a new one. The two of you will set a pace that is comfortable for you to explore relationships with colleagues and friends and, eventually, with dates. You have a right to have support and practical help as you work on such difficult material.
I hope you will give it a try. I think you deserve to have love and companionship for the rest of your life.
I wish you well.