I am so sorry that this has happened to you. It sounds like a very painful betrayal.
I would write him a very clear, unabridged letter about your feelings. Don’t hold back. I would encourage you to fully express what it is you are feeling and then let the letter simmer for a day or two.
Forgiveness from God? For what? Loving someone too much? When someone betrays you and takes advantage of you and lies to you in the name of a calling from God, this isn’t a spiritual awakening. It is pathology, pure and simple.
I would seek counseling from a practitioner recommended by clergy. I would take the feelings and questions to him or her and let them help you sort this through. There are several issues here. There is the betrayal by a trusted friend and lover, there is a person in a minister’s position that is, at best, with questionable ethics and morality, and there is your own spiritual growth to tend to. By using someone from your religious background and focus in their counseling, you can sort through the best way to respond.
I would bring them the letter youâ€™ve written, and ask what is the best way to handle the feelings surrounding this. But I would also ask their opinion about the church’s rules about reporting a ministerâ€™s behavior. I would not make this decision on your own without a consult. Your silence may or may not be the best way to proceed, but I would ask the opinion of a professional to help understand all your options.