You might be struggling with situational depression but I can’t be sure. By this I mean that you seem to be reacting to a particular situation that has understandably caused you to grieve.
I believe the primary issue may be low self-esteem. You seemed to be happy when you and your ex were dating. As you mentioned, you were “head over heels in love” with him. The relationship was going well, in your view, until he unexpectedly ended it. It was then that you began to experience depression. When he liked you, you liked yourself. When he “deleted you” from his life, you no longer felt good about yourself. The breakup made you feel as though you were “ugly and worthless.”
If you would have had a healthy level of self-esteem, you may have had a much different reaction. An individual with a healthy sense of self-esteem may have been briefly saddened about the breakup but not devastated. A healthier reaction might have been something like this: “why would I want to be with someone who so easily “deleted” me from his life? That person is not deserving of my love. I’m glad that our relationship is over.”
Please take the time to read my answer to another individual who was having a similar reaction to a breakup. I believe that this response perfectly explains the normalcy of breakups and how they are to be expected.
Self-esteem can be developed over time. If an individual feels good about themselves, then they are essentially immune to what others think of them. They believe in their abilities. They no longer have to have to rely on the opinion of others to know if they are “good enough.”
There is always a concern when someone describes themselves as being “head over heels in love.” It could mean that someone is essentially “blind” to the many possible negative attributes about their partner and their relationship. If you were blinded by love, then you might have missed important red flags. You may overlooked certain aspects of your ex-partner’s personality or behavior that should have alarmed you.
If you continue to struggle with the breakup, then my recommendation would be to consider counseling. It would also be helpful to have a psychiatric evaluation to rule out a depression diagnosis. You may benefit from psychotherapy or antidepressant medication. Both treatments may assist you in getting through this difficult time. I wish you the best. Please take care.