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My life is not how I want it to be

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I hate my life so much I can’t even explain.
I am a Muslim,and I have a hard time being a good one,I often ask god why he made me a bad Muslim even though I know it’s all my fault.
My parents often fight.they figt about stupid stuff like how my dad gives money to his mom and brothers. Ya mostly just that.
And my sister and I fight ALOT. I love her but sometimes we fight over dumb stuff and I start hurting her (choking,scratching etc…).so I cry alot and for hours.
I feel crazy and I am afraid.

My life is not how I want it to be

Answered by on -


I deeply appreciate your struggle with this issue. Perhaps the best thing I can offer is to say that you are not alone. Many young women struggle with conforming to their religion and how it fits into their personal lives. Consider the fact that there is a popular book called The Girl in The Tangerine Scarf by Mohja Kahf, A book doesn’t become popular unless many people are trying to understand the issue — there are many young people trying to cope.

The more practical concern right now is for your psychological wellbeing and the relationship with your sister and your family. Tolerance for each other as you are maturing is going to be important to have more peace in your life now, and later.

Since you are still in high school I would encourage you to talk to the counselors there about your concerns, and you may want to ask some of your questions to sites like this one concerning personal and family issues within your religion.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My life is not how I want it to be

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My life is not how I want it to be. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.