I hate my life so much I can’t even explain.
I am a Muslim,and I have a hard time being a good one,I often ask god why he made me a bad Muslim even though I know it’s all my fault.
My parents often fight.they figt about stupid stuff like how my dad gives money to his mom and brothers. Ya mostly just that.
And my sister and I fight ALOT. I love her but sometimes we fight over dumb stuff and I start hurting her (choking,scratching etc…).so I cry alot and for hours.
I feel crazy and I am afraid.My life is not how I want it to be
My life is not how I want it to be
I deeply appreciate your struggle with this issue. Perhaps the best thing I can offer is to say that you are not alone. Many young women struggle with conforming to their religion and how it fits into their personal lives. Consider the fact that there is a popular book called The Girl in The Tangerine Scarf by Mohja Kahf, A book doesn’t become popular unless many people are trying to understand the issue — there are many young people trying to cope.
The more practical concern right now is for your psychological wellbeing and the relationship with your sister and your family. Tolerance for each other as you are maturing is going to be important to have more peace in your life now, and later.
Since you are still in high school I would encourage you to talk to the counselors there about your concerns, and you may want to ask some of your questions to sites like this one concerning personal and family issues within your religion.