You’re absolutely right to be worried. If this keeps up, you are going to create the very thing you fear. No one can tolerate this level of jealousy, suspicion and distrust and stay in a relationship for long. It’s unfair to judge your current boyfriend by your experience with someone else who hurt you. It’s disrespectful for you to be checking his phone bills and facebook. It’s sad that you reject his expressions of love.
As you already know: This isn’t about your boyfriend. It’s about you. If you want any hope of saving this relationship, you need to do something immediately to address your negative self-esteem, your insecurities, and your anger issues. You already know this. If you could do it on your own, you would have done so already. Therefore, I strongly urge you to get yourself into therapy right away. Take your suspicions and fears to your therapist, not your boyfriend. It may not be too late to salvage this relationship. But even if you two break up over this, you still will want to do your therapy so the next relationship will have a chance.
I wish you well.