Get help immediately. It seems as though you have depression and it is only becoming worse. Since you are in college you can use the services at the university counseling center. Utilize the services that are available to you. As you mentioned, it is becoming increasingly difficult for you to speak to your family and friends about your symptoms. Professional help is required.
You did not mention this concern but seeking professional help should not evoke feelings of shame. Unfortunately many people feel that way. They believe that they “should” be able to fix their own problems and subsequently choose not to seek help. Seeking professional help is a very wise choice. Your depression appears to be growing. You’re having thoughts of suicide. Every time an individual is considering suicide it is a very serious situation. I strongly urge you to seek help as soon as possible. It would be the wisest and most efficient choice to make at this time. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.