Laziness is not the problem. Nor is the “need to grow up.” This problem likely stems from your childhood experiences and interactions with your parents. You were raised to believe that you had to be perfect. This fear was instilled in you. The fear has stayed with you and it is degrading your life. It is clearly holding you back. It is keeping you from realizing your full potential.
Keep in mind is that you are no longer a child. You don’t have to impress your parents. You don’t have to answer to them or be “perfect.” No one is perfect. The standards that you felt compelled to meet were unrealistic. No one could have met those standards.
Understanding “why” you engage in certain behaviors is an interesting analytical exercise but it does little to assist you in correcting them. I would recommend psychotherapy. A psychotherapist could teach you more efficient behaviors. By your own admission, when it comes to almost every activity, you procrastinate. You may simply need to be taught a different way of doing things. Learning a new skill set could greatly assist you in breaking the cycle of procrastination.
Psychotherapy can also help you learn new ways of thinking. Both you and your therapist could analyze your thought patterns to determine psychologically what is holding you back. Fear and anxiety are the symptoms but what thoughts underlie those feelings? What keeps the fear and anxiety alive? The goal of this process is to determine how logical or illogical your thought patterns are and to correct them accordingly.
Analyzing and systematically correcting your behavior and thought patterns are the essence of cognitive behavioral therapy.
If you are not interested in psychotherapy, then you may want to read self-help books. M. Scott Peck’s book The Road Less Traveled discusses issues such as anxiety, procrastination and the fear of living. You may want to check Psych Central’s book reviews for other recommendations. Others find cognitive behavioral and other related therapeutic workbooks very beneficial.
In terms of finding support groups, I would encourage you to do a Google search for procrastination or anxiety support groups. Psych Central hosts anxiety forums that you may like. Check with the community mental health center or local psychotherapists to determine if anxiety support groups are available. I hope this helps. Please take care.