My instinct is that this isn’t ADD. You didn’t indicate that the disorganization has been life-long. ADD isn’t something that just shows up during midlife. I suspect it has more to do with the anxiety and depression. It could also be that you are having a reaction to the medications you are taking (your agitation could be medication-related, for example) or that the dosages aren’t right.
You should definitely talk with your doctor about how you’ve been feeling and how difficult it is for you to get through a normal day. But — I doubt the answer is more medication. Medicine is no substitute for learning how to cope and manage.
The best treatment is usually a combination of medicine with some focused talk therapy. The medicines have the advantage of working quickly (when they work) and giving you a little relief so that you can think straight. Talk therapy helps you find better ways to function in the world for the long run. Your therapist would give you ongoing support and encouragement as well as practical strategies for taking charge of yourself. Yes, this takes time. But the result is usually more self-confidence and competence in dealing with the multiple stresses of family life. Some people are then able to wean off medications all together. Others continue to need some support from meds but they are part of a holistic treatment plan, not the “cure.”
I hope you’ll ask your doctor to refer you to a therapist. Life really can be better. You and your family deserve to have you back to normal.
I wish you well.