Don’t stop reminding your parents that you want to see a therapist. Have a serious conversation about the fact that you need help. If finances are an issue, then suggest that they take you to a community mental health center (CMHC). CMHCs provide cheaper mental health services. They often charge a sliding scale fee. A sliding scale fee is based on an individual’s or family’s’ income. This essentially means paying what you can afford.
It seems as though you might have depression and it may be getting worse. As you indicated, it’s becoming increasingly difficult for you to sleep. There is a decrease in your appetite. You noticed a change in your mood. You’re also experiencing short-term memory loss. These are all symptoms associated with depression. The depression is likely related to gender confusion.
There are others who also feel they were born the wrong gender. Like you, their longing to be the opposite gender began as a child. Some experience this urge so strongly that as adults they undergo major surgery to change their assigned sex. Transgender is the generic term used to describe individuals who do not feel comfortable with their assigned sex. Transsexual is the general term used to describe individuals who have undergone gender reassignment surgery.
I would recommend reading educational material about transgender issues. The public library is a good place to start. You can also search the Internet for “transgender resources. ” The Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD) website has information that you might find helpful.
I wish you the best. Please take care.