When does a liar tell the truth? I’m so, so sorry that your husband has so disrespected you and it seems everyone else who has trusted him. He has gotten away with it too many times. From what you told me, I don’t see an indication that he is at all interested in changing. From his point of view, the only problem is that he keeps getting caught.
I can’t tell you what to do on the basis of a letter. I can tell you that my opinion is that you should take a big step back and consder cutting your losses. At only age 23, you have a long life ahead. I think you’ve been betrayed enough.
As for the relatives: You didn’t mind what your husband’s family thought about your marriage. Why be so concerned about what they’ll think about a divorce? If they have come to love you, I hope they will recognize that your only flaw is that you believed in your husband as much as various members of his family did. You, his dad, and his best friend are all in the same boat. As for your own family, it’s time to sit down with your parents and to explain all that has gone on. Admit that you were so caught up in the romanace that you didn’t pay attention to the red flags before you married. There’s no crime in having given the person you loved the benefit of the doubt. But at this point, there are just too many indications that he is a good con artist and that life with him is going to mean more of the same. Ask for their support and love in making the difficult decision to leave him. Ask them to help your grandparents also understand. The people who love you won’t want you to live in a situation where you can’t trust your husband.
If a divorce is what you decide to do and it feels unbearable to live in town, there are at least two ways to deal. One is to hold your head high. You are not at fault for having been conned. You are the victim here. The other possibility is to go elsewhere for awhile and make a new life for yourself. In less than a year, you’ll be a college grad. You could consider grad school or you could look for a job in a new place. Why not use these next few years to go out into the world, to leave bad memories behind, and to grow in new ways?
Whatever you decide to do, I hope you’ll give yourself time to grieve. This isn’t at all what you had in mind when you married. You are not only losing the man you thought you had, but you are losing the future you had planned. That’s huge. I hope you have good friends and family members who will understand that and who will be supportive.
I wish you well.