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Why am I hurt that ex is dating?

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I am going through a divorce after 25 years of an abusive marriage and I am dating someone. Now my ex is dating too but its hurting me…..Why??

Why am I hurt that ex is dating?

Answered by on -

A.

What you are feeling is quite normal and typical. It’s one thing to be the person who is moving on. It’s another to be the one who is being replaced by someone else. You may be divorcing, but separating from 25 years of emotional attachment isn’t easy. Even though your head tells you that it’s only right and fair for him to move on too, even though a part of you may even feel relieved that he has turned his attention to someone else, your emotional self can’t help but feel rejected. It doesn’t make rational sense because it isn’t rational. It’s emotional.

Give yourself permission to feel the feelings of sadness, regret, and perhaps guilt and anger that are often in the mix when people end a long marriage. Then refocus your attention on the good reasons and maybe even relief that you are separating. Both sets of feelings can be simultaneously true for a time. As you work on creating the next chapter of your life, as you let yourself enjoy being loved by someone new, the hurt will fade.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

Why am I hurt that ex is dating?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Why am I hurt that ex is dating?. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/04/11/why-am-i-hurt-that-ex-is-dating/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.