I hesitate to offer direct advice in this column because there is often so much I don’t know (and can’t know) when my only source of information is a letter. But in this case, I’ll venture the opinion that you should get out. What you are talking about is domestic violence. Your instincts to not reconnect are correct. Yes, I know there are sweet sides to him. I kow there are times when he is a loving and supportive partner. But you can’t relax into this relationship. You are always walking on eggshells, braced for the next temper tantrum. No, you are not a bad person for not having faith in him. You are sensible.
You may find it harder than you think it will be to separate from this relationship. Here’s the website for a domestic violence program in your city. The hotline is 800-640-0333. Please give them a call to see what they can offer in the way of support.
I wish you well.