Alcohol is undoubtedly a problem in your life. It would be a mistake to believe that it is not because you don’t “need” it. Everything you have written suggests otherwise. Psychologically, you need alcohol. You can’t have fun without it. It has become a major focus in your life.
Contrary to popular belief, college is not all about drinking and getting drunk. College is about gaining the knowledge and skills that will be necessary to be successful in the world. Those who do drink heavily throughout their college years can be hurt by it in a variety of ways. For some, their drinking becomes so problematic that they have to drop out of school. Luckily, you are not at that point and you may never be but it could happen without intervention.
An additional concern is your family history of alcoholism. Having two alcoholic parents increases your likelihood of developing an alcohol abuse disorder. Some research has shown that alcoholism is genetic but no direct genetic link has been found. Others believe it is environmental. No one knows for certain.
Alcohol and drugs make people feel good. When you’re high, you don’t have to think about life problems. Being high is an escape from life, from reality.
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a great place to start. If you’ve never been to a meeting, then you should try going to at least one. Don’t base your opinion on AA on what others say. Attend a meeting and judge the organization for yourself. AA, in my opinion, is wondrous. We are lucky that such an organization exists. I would like to thank them publicly for the amazing help that they give to everyone who is willing to try. Some say they are a cult. Those naysayers are simply the people who aren’t ready to stop drinking. Denouncing AA is a convenient way to stop themselves from getting the help that is available to them. Thank you Alcoholics Anonymous and thank each and everyone who is a part of that organization.
If AA is not enough, psychotherapy is also an option. Psychotherapy can help you explore the underlying reasons why you feel that it is necessary to drink. Psychotherapy can also teach you alternative ways to experience the joy in life. I would suggest utilizing the mental health services at your university.
Though you are minimizing your alcohol problem, at some level you recognize that you need help. That is very good. Getting help now could save your life. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.