Thanks for reaching out for advice on how to deal with this painful dilemma. I can feel how much you respect your psychiatrist and how meaningful it has been to you to have a safe place to share your deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences. As you said, it is not uncommon to have sexual feelings toward your psychotherapist, especially if this is the first time you’ve felt emotionally safe and nurtured by a male.
While it would be a huge risk to share these intense feelings with your psychiatrist, I encourage you to do so. It sounds like he has proven to be very skilled, professional, and helpful to you in your therapy so far, so hold on to your positive experiences with him in order to muster up the courage to bring up your feelings in an upcoming session. Start slowly and start with sharing generalities, just like you’ve shared in your email to me. You can share your feelings without sharing all of the details of your fantasies. The ability to work through your erotic feelings for your psychiatrist with him, and to experience his continued support and acceptance may allow you to reach a new level of healing.
Take good care of yourself!