This is an important question you have presented. I believe you are correct that your concerns are different because of your background. Let’s look at the possibilities.
Your last paragraph is a good place to start. Intimacy issues can emerge from many sources. They are natural and can be expected once a relationship moves to a new, deeper level of intimacy. What you are describing in that paragraph is something typically called a projection. This happens when we “project” on to others that which we may be harboring. Fearing your partner may not want to be in the relationship may be an indication you have concerns about being intimate. If this is the case, this is a very natural defense and process.
The ultimate goal in intimacy is to be seen by your partner for who you are. My encouragement is to deepen your relationship by talking to your boyfriend about your concerns. The conversation alone may allow you to enhance your intimacy by allowing both of you to be present for each other — and to hold and care for each otherâ€™s fears. If this suggestion seems too risky I encourage you to find a couples counselor to allow the discussion to take place in a safe atmosphere. The find help tab can locate someone in your area.
Thank you for bringing the question to us.