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I love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now, and we started having sex three months after the start of the relationship. It’s been good all this time, but lately, for three months I don’t want to have sex, and feel bad having it. I love him, even though not as much as before, but I definitely don’t want to leave him for now. What’s wrong with me?

I love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore

A.

You list your age as 15 and that you are in the 10th grade. As you are experimenting with physical and emotional intimacy you will likely learn a lot about yourself and your needs. A big part of a relationship is not losing yourself to another person in the effort to attract their love. The teen years are the beginning of learning what your needs are, and what you can do to meet them. Perhaps the most important thing to do in this instance is ask yourself what it is that is making you feel bad, and what makes you feel safe.

You may want to talk to your guidance counselor at school, or try our free online forums. Don’t think about this as something being wrong with you; think about this as an opportunity to lean more about yourself.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2011). I love my boyfriend, but I don’t want to have sex anymore. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 18, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2011/03/01/i-love-my-boyfriend-but-i-dont-want-to-have-sex-anymore/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 23 Feb 2011
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 23 Feb 2011
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.