What you are describing is domestic violence. You are being victimized by one of the very people who is supposed to love and protect you. Instead, you are being hurt. No child should feel this unsafe in her home. No child deserves what is happening to you. Apparently, your mother is also a victim or potential victim so she hasn’t been able to intervene. You need to go outside the family to find a place to stay and to recover from the emotional and psychological consequences of physical assault.
You are fortunate to live in the New York City area. Please contact the counselors at Safe Horizon. They are set up to help women like you. Here’s what their website says about what they offer: “Safe Horizon operates both emergency shelters for crisis situations and transitional housing where women move after several months to plan for a future free from violence. The shelters offer comprehensive services including counseling, housing assistance, life skills and parenting courses, childcare, and medical aid.” That sounds like what you need right now.
Please make the phone call. You’ve suffered much too long. At 20, you can leave the abuse behind and take steps to create a healthy future for yourself.
I wish you well.