Thank you for reaching out for help during this stressful time in your life. I hear that you’re feeling really alone and you’re trying to make sense of the feedback your sister and your friends are giving you. It’s natural to feel guarded and to protect your feelings when you feel attacked and betrayed. The fact that you’re in a time of transition and making big life decisions like schooling and finances is extremely stressful.
Part of this transition to adulthood is that you’re trying to figure out who you want to be. You don’t want to be a pushover like you used to be, so you’re trying to take a stronger stand. It may be difficult for your friends and sister to know how to handle the changes you’re trying to make. You may also be coming off harsher than you think as you try to find the middle ground.
Here are a few concrete suggestions to help you manage your emotions and sort through your relationship with your sister and your friends:
- Instead of seeing them as a group “against” you, try to talk with them individually.
- Ask them to come to you directly with their concerns instead of talking with each other about you.
- Write down 3 things: the difficult feelings you have for each one of them, the positive feelings you have toward them, and why having a close relationship with them is so important to you.
- Talk with a counselor or psychotherapist. Ask your parent, your school counselor, or other trusted adult to help you find someone to talk to coach you through these relationship struggles.
Take good care of yourself.