What you are describing is a normal reaction to a traumatic experience. You are understandably terrified. Compulsive cleaning, numbing, and distracting oneself are usual reactions to violation. The rapist’s threat must have been convincing indeed. Of course you aren’t able to deal.
I can’t advise you specifically about what to do because every situation is different. I don’t know how dangerous the abuser is or how supportive you can expect your family to be. Not every family does the right thing. It could traumatize you further if you turned to them and they took the rapist’s side. You need love and support, not doubt or blame.
Please, please get yourself the help you need. There are therapists who specialize in helping people who have been sexually abused. Your college probably has a mental health center or a women’s center. People there can help connect you to a therapist who can help you figure out what you need to do to take care of yourself emotionally and to protect yourself from further abuse.
I wish you well.