I’m a 14 year old girl and I have a problem with daydreaming all day. It’s all the time I laugh out loud because of my daydreaming whatever I’m feeling. For example If I am at the grocery store and I see a cute guy I would imagine I was his girlfriend and we had the perfect relationship, BUT if a another girl went to him I would get so upset and I would HAVE to leave the store because of that.
So it was like I would transfer this guy into my imagination world and keep thinking its real.
This started ever since my parents got back together after being separated for 6-7 years I don’t even remember my DAD he was gone for so long. It was horrible he would yell at us and she would take his side, they would make me take sides in their fights, they would call me a brat, so much. Its like this guy took away my sweet mother…and I was all-alone no friends to talk to, homeschooled, trapped in my bedroom while they had their drama and that’s when I started to daydream. My daydreams are full older men like 20’s to 50’s usually pampering me, telling me I’m beautiful, we would have sex like a lot its like they “wanted me” or “enjoyed me” things from action movies to make it more exciting or friends I talked to I saw some faces from the TV and made them up. But that interferes work, concentration, social life and I don’t even want to stop. The time my parents where fighting I was ether on the computer trying to block the screaming from them or daydreaming about getting spoiled by these men all I wanted. So after 3 years of that they divorced and it stopped, but when I try to say how it affected me they seem “blank” like they spilled a drink on me. I wanted more of a reaction.
So I started to abuse myself emotionally like being very hard on myself, reminding myself of the past hoping that I could breakdown in front of them. I don’t want to die or cut myself just be sent to a hospital and have pity from everyone. And then I think my parents would TAKE ME SERIOUSLY I never sent myself to the hospital BUT I started daydreaming situations where I have a dramatic breakdown or take my moms pills, go get sick, and go to the hospital and my parents are crying for me on my bed side. NOW my parents are friends and threes no fighting or drama. But there are times where I fight with my parents about something silly or even disagree I feel so ANGRY I have to do something like harm myself in front of her and I do it in my daydreams. But now my daydreaming is getting out of hand I know the difference between real and imagination but my emotions don’t. I told my counselor this and she said I have some anxiety from being left alone and PTSD from the fighting. I THINK I may have maladaptive daydreaming maybe anger issues.
I’m not really sure how to handle this I’m kind of disturbed by my daydreaming its starting to effect my thinking :(