I’m impressed that you are trying to be fair to a nice guy whose only relationship problem is that he fell in love with someone who can’t whole-heartedly return it.
As you know, there is always the potential to find someone new and different. There’s a special kind of excitement to falling in love and exploring each other’s interests, thoughts, and bodies for the first time. At some point, though, most people decide they want to grow with someone over a lifetime. That’s something you can only do once. It has its own rewards. The experience of going to new levels together and being part of what each of you becomes may not be as exciting as the new-falling-in-love state but it can be deeply meaningful.
I can’t answer your questions about yourself because I don’t know enough about you. But they are important questions to address. If you don’t, you may find yourself always searching and never giving yourself the comfort and richness of a committed relationship.
I hope you will consider seeing a therapist to dig into your hesitation to really connect with a terrific man. Personal growth is a legitimate use of therapy. Therapists are trained to ask questions that help you explore and discover for yourself what you’re about. You can then make decisions that are based in a better understanding of your own goals and issues.
I wish you well.