I’ve just binged again after losing a little weight. I’m trying to stay in control and look after myself but it just isn’t working. I wish I could just lock the kitchen at night or live on my own so that I didn’t have to sneak around eating. I wish the world didn’t see eating as such a shameful activity so I wouldn’t feel the need to do it in private. I get angry with people who judge binge eaters. If you were to see me bingeing you would be appalled but also you would see that the look in my eyes is pure fear, as I am completely out of control. You didn’t answer this last time so please answer now. Afterwards I feel horrified and ashamed of myself. I had a panic attack after my binge today, and if I’m around people after a binge I have panic attacks. If this carries on I will be scared to go back to college.Eating issues getting ridiculous
Eating issues getting ridiculous
You know you need help. Acknowledging that by writing to us was an important first step. Now it’s time to take the next one. Please do go back to college. Immediately go to the counseling services there. College counselors regularly deal with eating disorders and weight issues and the panic, fear and shame that go with them. They are in tune with the special challenges of being young, in school, and out of control around food. Your counselor will give you both practical help and emotional support so that you can make better decisions around food and eating. Your parents don’t have to know if you don’t want them to. (Although at some point you may want to share your problems if they are the type of people who can be supportive.)
You might also find helpful information at the Somerset and Wessex Eating Disorders Association. They offer a helpline, email and letter support for people who are working to recover from all eating disorders.
I wish you well.