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My stepdad is an abuser

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My step dad is an abuser and I finally had the nerve to call the cops this time, he now has a set court date and my mom is really mad at me. My mom lies to me now and calls me fat and lazy and useless. My real dad is a loser in Iowa I have never seen him before. But I really just need an answer on what to do with my mom because I cry almost everyday and I just don’t know what to do.

My stepdad is an abuser

Answered by on -


I am glad you are standing up for yourself and not allowing the abuse. As you list your age as 13 I would talk to the school guidance counselor to help you with some support during the court hearing. School guidance counselors typically have information about advocates in your community and state who can help children of abusive parents. You may also want to call the police in town and ask if they can get someone, a counselor, for you to talk to as you go through this. They know how scary it can be for a child to go through this.

Finally, here is a link to the US Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families. They have links on their web page that can get you some direct help and they can find help in your area.

I admire your courage. Don’t be afraid to take the next step and get some support for what you are going through.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My stepdad is an abuser

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My stepdad is an abuser. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.