Most relationships don’t work. Let me explain. You date many people before you find one person to become engaged to. Many of the engagements end before marriage. Eventually, you find someone, the best so far, to marry. Half of all marriages end in divorce. It is both normal and natural, in the process of finding that special person, to have gone through many less than good enough relationships that end in a breakup.
A relationship can only continue if both parties want it to. There are two people in a relationship and every day each must vote “yes” for the relationship to continue. Two “yes” votes are necessary and just one “no” vote is enough to end every relationship, including a marriage with three children.
Dating is a process of trial and error and as I’ve already mentioned almost all of them end up as an error. It is a process of rejection. It is a process of saying (by one of the parties) “Nope, not good enough.”
Your girlfriend appears to be saying just that. I’m sure she doesn’t want to hurt you and you are probably right, she would prefer you breaking up for her because then she wouldn’t be guilty of hurting you and free to proceed with her old boyfriend.
I want you to look around at everyone you know who has a good relationship, even a seemingly perfect one. Then I want you to realize the long process of breakups, rejections, etc. that finally led to that really good relationship, that special person.
Go along with the process. Take your lumps, your bad times. It is the road to success. Each break up brings you further down the road. That’s not a pep talk from your online therapist but pure and simple reality. She likes the other guy more than you and that’s just fine because it’s true, she likes him more than you. Do you want a woman who really doesn’t want you? She isn’t right for you. She doesn’t love you enough to make you a good wife. That’s OK because it’s reality. You thought she might be and she thought you might be but it wasn’t the reality of the situation.
Keep dating, keep looking. Get ready for more breakups along the way but in the end, you will find her and she you. Good luck.