When someone is considering suicide it is a sign of depression. Understandably you are depressed. You are experiencing a difficult life situation. You find it difficult to fit in with your peers and you do not have support but this doesn’t mean that life will always be unpleasant. What it means is that is difficult for you now but it can get better. You’ve only begun to live your life. Life holds many possibilities for you but if you end it, you’ll never get to experience these possibilities. Many individuals struggle with similar problems throughout their childhood and teenage years but as adults, they have much more control over their lives and thus the power to improve their lives.
Please understand that suicide is never an appropriate way to deal with unhappiness. For many people suicide seems like an easy choice. They are suffering and think “if I end my life then I will end my suffering.” But that may not be true. We know nothing about what the afterlife may hold. In addition, it doesn’t make logical sense for you to end your life because you have not had the opportunity to try the many effective treatments available to treat depression. Depression is a very treatable condition. Many individuals are helped or even cured by utilizing the various types of therapy and medication designed to treat depression.
The best way to deal with this problem is to speak to your parents and tell them about your depression and suicidal thoughts. You have seen the school guidance counselor only three times. It hasn’t helped and there may be a logical reason for this. One may be that it would be more appropriate for you to see a therapist rather than a guidance counselor. Guidance counselors can be very helpful but they tend to specialize in treating short-term and less serious problems. If you speak to your parents about how you have been feeling, they may be able set up an appointment for you to meet with a therapist.
I would also suggest exploring the possibility of meeting with a psychiatrist. He or she may be able to prescribe you a low-dose antidepressant medication that can help with your depression. You may feel fairly rapid relief from an antidepressant medication. Many people do.
I hope that you will speak with your parents immediately. If you feel that you cannot control your behavior or that you are strongly considering suicide, call 911 or go to a hospital immediately. You may also find it helpful to have in your possession the phone number for the national suicide prevention lifeline, which is available 24 hours a day: 800-273-8255. Please take care. I wish you well.