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Work, anger, alcohol, depression

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The new woman has been working for us for 6 months she does a great job but my husband overstepped the boundaries a few different times by taking her out for cocktails and not answering his phone all night. Then 14 days later has a little after party with her and another female coworker using alcohol and not coming home til 5am. Ok so I didn’t make this any better by getting drunk that next nite and passing out on a friends couch. This has been snowballing for some time now leading up to heated arguments and talks of divorce. I love my husband and I know I have my issues as far as anger. How am I supposed to balance everything out?

Work, anger, alcohol, depression

Answered by on -


It sounds like things are heating up where you and your husband are working. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to answer your question. But you can’t balance this out on your own. You can be responsible for your behavior, but this is clearly a couples issue. Four things are clear:

  1. There is a problem in your marriage that is significant.
  2. There is an alcohol problem with both of you.
  3. There will be issues at work if you don’t deal with this sooner rather than later.
  4. You need to be in couples counseling ASAP.

The alcohol use combined with the acting out on both of your parts is a clear indication that something isn’t being talked about that needs to be. I would strongly recommend you set up an initial counseling appointment. Here are some referrals for your area. Please don’t wait. These situations typically deteriorate rapidly. Find out what the two of you need to deal with — then deal with it before there is more damage. When you combine alcohol with anger and depression at home and at work, something is going to happen that isn’t good.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan

Work, anger, alcohol, depression

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Work, anger, alcohol, depression. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.