Thank you for giving me an opportunity to respond. It sounds like you have been coping with this issue for quite a while. I am glad you are looking for options for your future.
But your future will require you to reflect deeply on the truth of this situation. Here is the bullet list of what you have told me:
- Has a problem with crystal meth
- Is a cheater
- Is a liar
- Manipulates you with money
- Manipulates you with the threat of self-harm
- Withholds sexual intimacy
- Appears to have a sex addiction
- Uses gift-giving as a way to excuse his behavior
There isn’t anything about him that has the ring of ability for intimacy and stability, yet you stay with him and are somehow surprised he is who he is. He doesn’t honor your needs, and you haven’t yet taken responsibility for honoring them either. Why are you staying in a relationship that offers so little when you say you want more?
The real work here is for you to learn about the conditions that would allow you to choose and remain with such an unsatisfying partner – yet be surprised. I strongly suggest therapy (you can get a referral in your area from the find help tab) and for you to join Al-Anon or Nar-Anon groups nearby to help you get support as you grow.
Waiting for him to change will bring you nothing but more suffering. It is time for you to reclaim yourself.
Wishing you patience and peace,