I get angry a lot for no reason. I Wake up angry sometimes. When I am angry I lash out at my husband. No one else. I love him and I don’t know why I get mad. I’ll get mad if he doesn’t say ‘hi’ to me. Then I’ll be mad for the whole day. There’s this anger in me. It builds up and I can’t control it. Then I’ll be very happy sometimes. I don’t understand. Sometimes I won’t want to do anything all day but lay in bed. I won’t want to take care of my daughter. ( I will i just wont want to) I don’t want to be near her sometimes because i’m afraid i’ll yell at her for no reason. I feel like a usless person. I have a job and I enjoy it usually. i don’t know why i hate being home, even though i love my husband and daughter so much. sometimes i just want to be alone. completely alone with no one around me. I lash out and curse alot and i dont know why. sometimes ill look for things to make me angry but i don’t know why. i don’t understand what is wrong with me. it doesn’t happen everyday, but at least 2 times a week.
please help me.

A: What you are describing sounds like symptoms of depression. Many people think that being depressed means only being sad or down. That’s true for many people. But in some people, maybe in you, depression shows up as irritability and crankiness that flares into angry outbursts that are out of proportion to events. They may blame others or get easily frustrated. You also report long periods of staying in bed and a marked decrease in enjoyment of your daughter. These are also common symptoms of depression.

For this reason, I urge you to see a mental health professional for an evaluation. If the diagnosis is depression, you will get recommendations about what to do about it. For most people a combination of some medicine and talk therapy is the treatment of choice. The medicine will help you feel a little better and will help you have the motivation to do your daily life and your therapeutic work. The talk therapy will help you develop more coping skills so that you can recognize when you are getting depressed and take some steps to mitigate it.

Thank you for writing. It must feel awful to feel so out of control. Do follow through and get that evaluation. You deserve to feel better. Your family deserves to have the loving wife and mother they know you to be.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie