While I cannot know for certain whether or not you are experiencing a psychotic break, I believe, based on what you have written, that you should be evaluated by a mental health professional. Your thinking does not appear to be reality based. You may be experiencing psychosis. Your ideas are grandiose. You seem to be experiencing delusions, hallucinations, voices and paranoia. I will detail your specific symptoms below.
Delusions are erroneous beliefs that typically involve individuals misinterpreting reality or experiences. The delusions you have mentioned include:
- You believe you are prophet here to change the world through the manipulation of birds. This would be considered a grandiose type of delusion.
- The idea that someone has implanted a camera in your brain to watch you at all times. This would be considered a persecutory delusion; these are the most common types.
- Your belief that a controlling device or chemical is leading your mission. This would also be considered a persecutory delusion.
- Your belief that voices have been placed in your brain for the essential purpose of mocking you and hurting your family. This again would be categorized as a persecutory delusion. The voices might also be considered auditory hallucinations.
There is also evidence of paranoia, which is another symptom of schizophrenia. You mentioned a possible conspiracy against you. According to your view, someone as evil as Satan is attempting to steal your ideas and ruin your friendship with your friend Jacob. Thought withdrawal is also symptomatic of schizophrenia.
More specifically, you seem to be exhibiting the positive symptoms of schizophrenia. Positive symptoms of schizophrenia are considered in excess, relative to one’s normal way of thinking and functioning. Some individuals with schizophrenia also experience negative symptoms. Negative symptoms are those characteristics that are absent from one’s normal level of functioning. Your possible delusions, hallucinations and paranoia are symptoms that are in excess (i.e. in addition to) of a normal level of functioning.
You also mentioned the possibility that you may be experiencing mania. Based on your letter, I do not see strong evidence of mania. Some of the symptoms of mania include euphoria, increased energy, heightened sex drive and impulsivity. The possibility of mania cannot be ruled out on the basis of a short letter but nothing you wrote led me to believe that you are experiencing mania.
You are in treatment with a psychopharmacologist. She is prescribing Prozac which seems to be causing a negative reaction. She needs to be made aware of this. I would also strongly suggest that you bring her a list of your current symptoms. In fact, you could just give her a copy of this letter because it outlines your symptoms in specific detail. Please also consider being evaluated by a psychiatrist and possibly a therapist.
It is imperative that you seek treatment for possible psychotic symptoms. The worst decision you can make is to do nothing. Psychosis typically does not go away on its own. In fact, it tends to become progressively worse over time and that is why it’s important that you do not delay treatment.
I hope this answers your questions. Please consider writing back and letting me know how you are doing. I understand that it can be difficult to accept the possibility that your perception of reality is inaccurate. An individual experiencing psychosis believes wholeheartedly in what they are thinking. It can be very frightening but now that you have had an objective opinion it is important to be further evaluated and treated for your possible psychotic episode. Please take care.