I am sorry you are experiencing so much distress. Many people are having similar difficulty with regard to finding a job. Have you considered changing careers? It is not unusual for people to change careers two or three times throughout their lives. Other options include filing for extended unemployment or other government benefits. You may have already tried these but if not other options include:
- Attending job fairs.
- Contacting employment agencies.
- Aggressively pursuing job leads. This would include persistently following up on a job application submission.
- Contacting past employers to inquire about job openings.
- Contacting companies that you wish to work for even if they are not currently hiring. A colleague of mine recently cold-called a company that was not hiring but left her contact information. To her surprise, a position became available soon thereafter and she was offered an interview. She now works for that company and is making more money than she has ever made before. Prior to the new job she had been unemployed for over a year. She too was depressed and considering suicide. She was convinced that her luck would never change but she was wrong. Who can guarantee that in your case this will not happen? Yes, things are not going well for you at this time but how can you be certain that in the future your life will not improve? The answer is you cannot know.
- Volunteering. This may seem counterproductive but volunteering your services (you did not mention what line of work you are in) might lead to future employment opportunities.
- Taking a job that you are overqualified for.
- Taking any job (temporarily) while you await more suitable employment.
- Going back to college.
- Starting your own business.
The fact that you mentioned your father’s suicide is very concerning. Please realize that suicide is never an appropriate solution. By contemplating suicide you are in essence concluding that life has no purpose without employment. Many people would categorically disagree with this line of thinking.
If you ended your life, it would very likely negatively impact your family and your son. Not only would he lose his father but it may increase the likelihood that he would someday choose the same fate. Studies show that individuals with family members who have committed suicide are at a greater risk of ending their own lives. This is not a risk you should be willing to take.
Your problem is real but it is likely temporary. Your situation can improve. Most religions are in agreement that it is one’s ability to sustain suffering that makes him or her stronger. Your situation is difficult now but that all could change, and very likely will.
You do not have the money to pay for therapy. Community mental health centers offer free or low-cost services. They primarily serve individuals who cannot afford treatment. I would strongly encourage you to consider your local community mental health center.
Lastly, I am not familiar with any economy blogs. If I learn of any, I will post them. Thanks for your question. I wish you well.