I appreciate you taking the time to write. The dreams sound very uncomfortable. Let’s see if we can deal with them in a helpful way.
I am a firm believer in the fact that dreams come along to help us cope with something from the past, present or future. Your disturbing dreams lend themselves to the meaning you have ascribed, namely, being abused. But there are too many unanswered issues and an accurate understanding of the or meaning is unknown. Sometimes dreams are symbolic, so other feelings of being violated or victimized may be emerging with this imagery, and sometimes they are fragments of memories.
But the difficult part is coping with the intrusive imagery, so my emphasis is to take a functional problem-solving focus on this dream. Let’s deal with it the way it is without interpretation.
The technique is called dreaming-the-dream-forward and treats your dream like the first and second act of a three-act play. Instead of the dream ending where it does — dream it forward. Add a third act that brings the dream to an okay place. This may take some experimentation, but the idea is to evolve the dreaming imagery to a place that does not distress you so greatly. Play with the imagery and content until you can evolve the ending. Be creative – it’s your dream.
Psychology Today’s website further describes Imagery Rehearsal Therapy (IRT). It instructs one to follow three easy steps:
“1. Jot down a description of a recent nightmare. If this nightmare is too upsetting, pick another.
2. Think of a way to change the nightmare. In developing IRT, Krakow recommends leaving this open-ended, so that clients can decide for themselves how the nightmare should end.
3. Set aside a few minutes each day to imagine this altered version of the nightmare. Paint a mental picture that can boost the likelihood of the nightmare being changed in a positive way.”
I will encourage you to work with your new therapist in the here and now about your anxiety. Rather than the past (which sounds too upsetting to explore for now) allow yourself to ask what issues in your life now may be activating a dream of being violated or victimized. This should help focus your effort on coping and understanding the purpose of the dream.
Wishing you patience and peace,