It may be a challenge to be happy “all the time.” It would be more realistic to expect not to be bitter. It is difficult to control our mood 100 percent of the time. Mood can be affected by factors over which we have limited or no control. One example of a factor that we have no control over is hormones. Hormones are something that we cannot control. Moods are also affected by a lack of sleep as well as a number of other factors. Tired people may have difficulty managing their moods.
You alluded to your history, in your letter, but you did not identify the cause of your bitterness. If I understand your letter correctly, some occurrence from the past is bothering you. Your desire to speak about the troubling incident with your boyfriend is, in your opinion, a form of complaining. Generally speaking, if something is bothering you, it is best to talk about it. This is the basis for talk therapy — analyzing problems and examining one’s feelings. Therapy can be a very effective treatment, if done with a kind, compassionate and qualified therapist.
I’m afraid that I can only offer you general advice. If you would like to write back and provide additional information, I may be able to provide you with a specific answer. It would be helpful to know more about what is troubling you. It would also be helpful if you explained in more detail how this problem is affecting your relationship.
If this problem continues to bother you, consider seeing a therapist. You may only need to see a therapist for a short time. Here’s a link to a website where you can search for therapist. Please consider writing back with more information. Thanks for writing. I wish you well.