A; I’m sorry you’re hurting. A broken heart is one of the hardest things to heal. But – please do understand that this guy has done you an enormous favor. He isn’t at all mature enough to accept the love and loyalty you offer. He probably feels bad about it. He probably wishes it weren’t so. That’s why he comes back into the picture. But he tells you very loudly with his actions that he isn’t someone to make a marriage and a future with.
At this point, your problem is with yourself, not with him. Please ask yourself what would be different in your thinking and feelings if you let go of this guy completely. The answer will tell you what you are afraid of. Maybe you can get unstuck by yourself. If you can’t, it’s time to see a counselor for some help. It’s time for you to get on with your life and to find a guy who can return the quality of love that you give.
I wish you well.