I do not believe that you are being melodramatic or overly sensitive. You may have depression. You mentioned that you noticed a change in your mood when you began taking birth control pills. Birth control pills affect hormones, which have a direct effect on mood. It is difficult to say whether the birth control pills caused your mood problems but it does coincide with when your mood changes began.
You also noticed that prior to your menstrual cycle you experience an increase in mood instability. This is not uncommon. Many women experience a very similar phenomenon right before their period but perhaps not as severe. Due to the severity of your symptoms, you may have premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD). PMDD is a more severe and debilitating form of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). PMDD affects approximately 3 to 8 percent of women and it is more prevalent in younger women.
I would also recommend discussing your concerns with your gynecologist. He or she needs to have feedback about how the pills affect your moods. Often finding the correct birth control medicine is a trial and error process. Your gynecologist may recommend a new or different birth control pill to help alleviate or offset mood swings. That may or may not be a good option for you but at the very least your gynecologist should be made aware of your negative reaction.
Hormones directly affect mood but so do environmental changes. You mentioned that your grandfather died. It is very difficult to lose a beloved family member. In addition your boyfriend left for Iraq and this is another loss from your daily life. You also recently ended relationships with two close friends. In addition, your family is not supportive. They are essentially telling you to “get over it.” They may not mean to be insensitive but perhaps they do not know another way to respond.
The recent losses and life changes most likely are contributing factors in your depression and mood instability. I would recommend therapy. You need guidance and support, at least until you can adjust to the recent changes in your life. You may also benefit from a low dose of antidepressant medication. It might help to stabilize your mood. It may also help you to feel less overwhelmed. Here is a link to a directory where you can search for a therapist in your community. I wish you well. Please take care. Thanks for writing.