“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.”
An unknown author puts the situation in perspective. Thank you for writing this question. I hope what I can offer will help.
I think we need a three-pronged approach to this to find some movement. You have demonstrated that you can make important changes in your life by using therapy, exercise and reading. Now we want to bump it up a notch.
The first issue is the fact that you are never in the moment. You are always letting your mind escape to the future, so this leaves you missing what is here, now, in front of you. If you keep deferring to future fantasies you miss the moment where all the action is. Mindfulness meditation will help you pull yourself back into the moment so you are not wasting your resources. You want to train your mind to be present and mindful so all your energy is focused in the here and now.
Secondly, low self-esteem comes from avoidance. When we repeatedly don’t do something that we should it chips away at how we feel about ourselves. If we have several things that we are not doing all that much more gets depleted. I would encourage you to begin doing some things that you have been putting off; anything that gives you even a small sense of accomplishment will be helpful. When we can prove to ourselves that we can have a plan, execute it, and succeed at it, the confidence to do so in other arenas is carried forward. Here is a link about how to get you going on this.
Finally, you’ll need an action plan that is supported by a positive perspective. Having a positive frame of mind is the best foundation to allow you to move forward. Here are some well-researched activities from the field of positive psychology to help you channel the daydreaming into systematic ways to promote your well-being.
- Be present
- Be proactive
- Be positive
Wishing you patience and peace,