It occurs to me that maybe you think of yourself as “broken” and would like others to see it, understand it, and maybe help you. It’s also significant that you want to have a broken leg. It’s as if you are using your body to say “I can’t stand it!” I think the recurring desire is your way of telling yourself that you need a crutch and you need to heal. Therapy is a good solution for both. Therapy is a temporary “crutch” while you do the healing work. It will be painful at times. At times you will be emotionally limping. But when you feel that you are able to stand up for yourself and safely move in the world, you will phase it out – just as you would phase out using a crutch for a broken leg.
I hope you will trust the message you are sending yourself. I think you have a wise inner self who is trying to get you to pay attention and to do the work you need to do to be a strong and confident person.
I wish you well,