This is a complicated relationship. He wants to be with you one day and the next he says something very mean and hurtful. It is difficult for you to determine what is happening. One thing is for certain: if he is using drugs it will be very difficult or impossible to have a stable relationship with him. People who are using drugs are not thinking clearly. Their judgment is impaired. They do not make good candidates for relationships. Individuals who are in relationships with addicts liken their significant other’s drug of choice to having a third person in the relationship (i.e. “the other woman” or the “other man”). That’s because their significant other often chooses the drug over them, or at least that is what it feels like. Until he stops using drugs and is more mentally stable, I would advise against pursuing this relationship.
You wanted to know if having bipolar disorder could explain his behavior. Part of why you believe that he might have bipolar disorder is because he is taking the medication Seroquel. Seroquel is an antipsychotic medication that is typically prescribed for psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. It may be prescribed for other uses such as bipolar disorder, specifically for an acute manic phase or possibly insomnia but generally it’s prescribed to reduce symptoms associated with psychotic disorders. He may have bipolar disorder but it is possible that he has a psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. The only way to know may be to ask him if he has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder or any other disorder.
You also said that he was out of the medication Seroquel. If he has not been taking it as prescribed then this could possibly explain his irrational behavior. If medication is not taken properly it can cause mental instability.
How should you move forward in this relationship? You should suggest that he seek psychiatric help. I suggest this for two reasons. One is because he is abusing drugs and alcohol. He may need to enter rehabilitation or at the very least to see a therapist to examine why he’s using drugs and alcohol. Secondly, you should suggest that he contact his doctor. If he’s out of his medication then he needs to let the doctor know. Once back on the medication his behavior and overall mental health may stabilize.
As indicated above, I do not think he’s in a place psychologically where he can have a healthy relationship with you. He’s dealing with many issues that are unresolved (i.e. drugs, possible psychotic disorder). I do not think it is advisable for you to pursue a relationship with him at this time. Perhaps after he receives professional help he may be in a better position to have a relationship with you. Until then I doubt it will be possible. Thanks for writing. Please take care.