i was dumped by my boyfriend 3 months ago.
i trusted him, believed in him.
i might have imposed so much value on the love.
since then, i have been crying with tears, exactly every day. because .. i have finally known such a value is nothing; love,faith,truth are nowhere. invisible values are just designed by the human being to justify every deeds of them.
some other may disagree with this, but it is so in my world.
there’s nobody to rely on, nowhere to put my heart down.
everybody is just animal-like. just the human has higher mental faculties than the anmal do to make themselves exalted.
i know some other will think i am wrong.
but, i cannot help thinking in that way.
will there be any reasons to live longer when the life is just meaningless, no one to believe?
when i think of my parents and friends, i feel really sorry for them. they will be so sad if i kill myself.
but, living in this mood..and feeling is just too hard for me.
i want to quit all the things.
so, how should i kill myself?
i cannot even hang myself because i am currently living in my cousin’s house, it will just disturb her feeling and break her life in some ways..how should i kill myself?
how should i kill myself?
You know that I’m not going to tell you how to suicide. You know in your heart that there has to be another way to end the pain.
What I can tell you is this: However wonderful your boyfriend might have been, his exit from your life is not the root of your problem. Your problem is that you have let his opinion of you overwhelm your own sense of worth.
Your letter shows you to be a deeply sensitive and poetic person. It is your ex’s loss that he couldn’t see that and value it. Please don’t make the same mistake.
I know it’s hard to move forward when you’ve been dealt such a blow. I understand that it’s hard to admit to yourself that you were perhaps blind to things that weren’t right about the relationship. I realize that you are probably afraid to risk love again when losing it hurts so much. That’s all a natural part of grieving. But at some point, grieving can end and life can go on.
Give yourself an hour or two a day at a specific time to cry. If the hurt wells up during any other time of the day, remind yourself that you have a special hour set aside to grieve and your pain needs to be reserved for that time when you can give it your full attention. Most important: Please surround yourself with friends and let them love you. Let them add their strength to yours so that you have enough to sustain you. Keep up routines, even if you don’t feel like it. Take your morning shower. Do your hair. Make the bed. Have breakfast. The motions of life help us get on with living. If you have a faith, turn to that as well. Find a way to give something to others. These are all the things that can help us cope with loss and find our own sense of worth again. That, and time, will help you heal.
I wish you well.