For some men, 10 relationships are fewer than one. For whatever reason, your husband isn’t willing to take the emotional risks that go with putting all of his heart with one person. Of course, that means he will also never know the intimacy and closeness that is possible when two people truly commit to one another. I’m assuming (maybe wrongly) that you’ve tried couples counseling and it wasn’t successful. If you haven’t given counseling a try, I certainly urge you to do so.
If you were 20 years old, and counseling didn’t work, I’d suggest that you drop this guy and look for a man who could respond to your love in kind. But (being of a certain age myself) I know that once we’re in our 50s, life is much more complicated. There may be many practical reasons why you got back together with him rather than stay separated. There may be reasons why you are willing to accept the blame for the separation and the pain of never being someone’s most important someone. You might be willing to walk on eggshells rather than walk alone.
I can only suggest to you that half a loaf isn’t necessarily better than none. But only you can decide if that’s the case for you. I do believe that you deserve better. I’d like to think there is a man out there who knows how to love completely and who has been looking for someone just like you to spend the next 20 years with.
I wish you well.