I’m sorry about your situation. It must be difficult to feel trapped, frightened and all alone. You mentioned that you have a therapist. Is your therapist aware of your issues? Does he or she know that your mother physically harms you, that you’re thinking about running away or committing suicide? If not, then you are withholding important information. He or she needs to know that information to help you.
Once you have your therapist involved you may want to discuss two possible strategies that may improve your situation. One is a possible move to a residential living facility and the other is family therapy. Temporarily moving to a residential living facility would allow you a break from your stressful environment. You would also likely have access to mental health professionals who can assist you with your family and emotional problems. If a residential living facility is not an option, then what about temporarily staying with a close relative? I am not certain if moving would be an option for you but it is something to be considered.
I also mentioned family therapy. This type of therapy generally consists of you and other members of your family working together to resolve family issues. Many of your interactions with your family are upsetting. Family therapy could help with this.
Ideally, your therapist should be the one making suggestions about how to improve your life. Generally, that is their job, at least in part. Since that does not seem to be the case for you, you may want to bring these suggestions to his or her attention.
I understand why you are turning to drugs and alcohol, running away or contemplating suicide; those are the type of solutions individuals may choose when they are confused. You are on the wrong track but you can change this by asking for help. Talk to your therapist or another mental health professional immediately so you can access the help you need and deserve.
One last thing, be certain to call 911 or go to an emergency room if you believe you are going to harm yourself or someone else. The hospital can keep you safe.
I wish you well. Thank you for your question.