It’s not rambling to try to lay out the issues you are struggling with. You certainly have a lot of challenges. I’d like to think that writing to us here at Psych Central means that you haven’t given up entirely. Obviously, an advice column can’t solve your problems but perhaps I can give you a little direction.
First — Please don’t give up on counselors. All therapists aren’t alike. It’s important to interview several in order to find someone you think can understand and help you. “Think positive thoughts” is not it. You probably need a combination of some medicine (at least for awhile to give you the energy you need to do therapeutic work) and talk therapy that helps you deal with the traumatic events of your past, your family, and your current difficulties. Real help is out there but you have to go find it.
Next: There are many therapists and clinics who offer a sliding fee scale and who accept health insurance. I did a web search of your city and mental health services and found several that look promising. I suggest you call around and see whether any have services you can afford.
And — If you do have Aspergers, there certainly is help for managing it. An excellent book on the subject is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy for Adult Asperger Syndrome by Valerie L. Gaus. When you call the various mental health clinics in your area, be sure to ask if there is anyone who specializes in adult Aspergers.
I do urge you to take charge of yourself and at least start getting the help you need while you are still in college. If possible, you want to have a handle on yourself before you start looking for a job. You are obviously a man who thinks in complicated ways and who will respond well to some good support and advice. Use your remaining semester to give yourself the jumpstart you need to make a good adult life for yourself.
I wish you well.